Traces of you
I have reposted this with some minor changes suggested by helpful contributors to WOL
As I sit upon
This empty bed
White cotton frayed
From nights
That punctuate
This thin veneer
Of wakefulness
I look for traces of you.
Comments
Lovely poem in both versions. Hope to see more of your work soon.
Looking good. Do you want 'from nights' or 'through nights'? Just curious. 'through' possibly gives the idea of lengthy time passing, like 'getting through the night', as well as 'many nights passing', if that was your intention.
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
Andy Ainsworth
Tue 23rd Apr 2013 01:24
Hmmm it could work both ways Cynthia. I like the idea of 'through' but 'from' puts the emphasis in the past which is where I see it. This may well morph into something more at some point although I like its simplicity.