on the please-come-in door

a bright brass knocker

and stained glass birds

rainbows on the walls

when the sun casts through

 

a dark scrolled shelf

hangs high in the hall

gleaming with candlesticks

cats dogs monkeys

and a clear glass train

its engine

full of coloured candy beads

glowing like jewels

 

up the stairs to bedtime

footsteps slow

wide eyes through curly bars

the locomotive’s belly bulging

with candy coveted

tongue tingling flavours

denied

 

two years old is little - so very very little -

as the sugar beads shine

forbidden

sweet bright treasure

beloved of the sister who has died of cancer

only seven

a candy shrine to the first daughter

her presence constant

big burden for a very little girl

who understands more

than the grownups can ever imagine

who with all her heart wants the candy

to suck

one bead at a time

 

then comes the day

Daddy opens the glass locomotive

and Mother asks: which one

the little girl whispers: red

cinnamon

the taste is cinnamon

which she doesn’t much like

but orange yellow and green are delicious

soon the jewels are gone

the engine just an ornament

on the shelf in the hallway

with rainbows on the walls

                   ...

she grows bigger

and older

she never forgets  the candy beads

nor the sorrow

still

she finds upon her pillow

rainbow-shadowed dreams

 

 

 

 

Cynthia Buell Thomas 

(finally finished April, 2013)