My first love

You ruled my life you chose my path,
You told me when to cry and laugh,
My mind not mine to take control,
I lost my faith, I searched my soul,

My family became very concerned,
With bruises and marks and lies I churned,
I convinced them well, with a fairy tale,
And lied to them on every scale,

You made me feel worthless and vile, 
I started to believe it after a while,
Everything I did was wrong,
For praise and love I yearned so strong,

This life I lived in dread and terror,
Until one day I believed the mirror,
Reflecting back to me was clear,
There was no shame, it was only fear,

And so after years of physical abuse,
I found the courage to break loose,
From that rusted chain around my heart,
For me this was a brand new start,

I live no more with the fear and dread,
Of wondering what’s in your head,
And why you hurt and beat me bad,
My first love I ever had.

Christina Ford