This is not a begging letter, this is not a plea for validation or soothing words. This is a statement of fact. When I still owned musical instruments and could play a note or too I found it difficult to control. I wanted it to be all encompassing, my raison d'être. In 1999 I realised that I was kidding myself, I was just too ordinary, and that such desire was both unhealthy and damaging and consequently sold every item of equipment and software that I owned. Since then I have never played an instrument. I believe I may have reached another such singularity where the reality of the situation overwhelms the weight of my own expectation. Vanity and ego will take you to the edge of despair where you will then have to decide whether to jump or just toss an offering into the abyss, turn, and quietly trudge away. My offerings have been tipped over.