The mayor of Bayswater
Has pushed me in the water
And in Billericay lido
I'm up to my knees.

He threw me in after
I said he looked dafter;
My insult and laughter
Were meant to displease.
The mayor of Bayswater
Has pushed me in the water
And in Billericay lido
I'm up to my knees.

I laughed at him bringing
His mayoral bling-bling
But now I am wringing
And starting to freeze:
The mayor of Bayswater
Has pushed me in the water
And in Billericay lido
I'm up to my knees.

My clothes were overtly
Disgusting and dirty
Now somehow my shirt is
As clean as the breeze
The mayor of Bayswater
Has pushed me in the water
And in Billericay lido
I'm up to my knees.