I'm eggshausted and eggsasperated -
I shouldn't have eggspected less
But in fact it's eggsceded my worst eggspectations
I've had too many eggs - eaten to eggsess
 
I'm not one for eggsageration
I prefer to be eggsact
But, I'll eggspound and eggspress myself further
For some sympathy, I wish to eggstract

Well, I took some advice from an "eggspert"
An eggstravigant egghead, called Ed
Eggstremely eggshalted in his field of interest,
I listened.  And now wish I was dead

Egged-on and eggscited by Easter
No eggscuses - I ate more than I'd planned
Inhaling chocolate was fine, it felt so divine
But when I eggshaled - I began to eggspand

Eggspelling some air, looking downwards
No eggsamination was required to eggsplain
That the shape I'd become - was an oval
Eggshaped I was - and in pain

Egg-bound - that's to say, in the house by myself
My life flashed before me just then
So hoping to prevent an eggsplosion
I clucked like an old mother hen
 
I knew eggsercise was a non-starter
I eggscluded that option right there
"Was I doomed to be eggsiled for the rest of my life?"
I thought, as I rolled off my chair
 
"No, damn it" I eggsclaimed (note - no eggspletives!)
"This eggsistance is not for me"
And though Shakespeare's Omelette is somewhat depressing
I thought "To be, or not to be"
 
But then, thinking of Easter and Springtime
Of bunnies, of lambs and cute sheep
With my eggsterior resembling a rotund chocolate egg
I lulled myself into sleep
 
I dream'd of others, who'd been there before me
Others who'd suffered my plight
Of Henry VIII's eggscommunication
Slept the rest of the day, and the night
 
I awoke at last, and with some relief
I found I was able to move
So eggstatic, I scrambled to my feet,
Wiped the egg off my face, just to prove
 
That though my life's not eggsotic
Easter Eggs do make me cheer
The Chancellor of the Eggschequer can double the tax
But I’ll do it again, every year