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DIURNAL.

Thinking of a dream-drawn place
I cup cold water to my face;
then dry myself and dress and eat
and leave. Above the quiet street

half a moon hangs roughly torn
amid a peach and blue-grey dawn
and bird song spreads its endless charm
but cannot mask a car alarm.

A solitary fox appears; a cat
with cupped and twitching ears;
as if, all animals alike, made
alerted by a hormone spike,

we’d crept out from a fetid lair
to breathe a crisper, sweeter air;
to glean the dying quietude and
watch the cowled night conclude

while yellow lights, like boiled sweets,
switch off in step on stirring streets
from where all peace retreats until
again, the day grows fresh and still.

◄ SLOW CLAP.

BETTER K/NOT. ►

Comments

Travis Brow

Fri 9th May 2014 09:41

Again, many thanks for your comments; i'm delighted with the responses this poem's received; it's very encouraging, in the literal sense. Regarding the typewriter Cynthia, it belongs to my dad who won it as a schoolboy, and who wrote some of his own early poems on it.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 8th May 2014 11:31

I am in total sync with the comments celebrating these original images, astute diction and 'run-on' lines, especially from stanza to stanza. I will come back many times to enjoy this.

The old-fashioned typewriter speaks volumes too.

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 2nd May 2014 16:03

Worthy of a place in any anthology - a most
imaginative take on the rise and shine process in
humdrum lives.

Travis Brow

Fri 2nd May 2014 07:30

Blimey, I'm flattered; thank you all for your kind and considered comments. You might notice I've altered the last verse, and the title. To be honest, there may well be further changes - I'm rarely ever entirely content. Still, it's good to get feedback. Thanks again.

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charliebrogan

Fri 2nd May 2014 04:16

This is so beautiful!

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John Coopey

Thu 1st May 2014 18:10

I'd echo all that, Harry. I felt for the second syllable in Cowled, too.
Great stuff, Travis.

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 1st May 2014 16:03

I like this not so much `welcome to the dawn`
as `Farewell to the night`. It`s a bit Larkin-like miserable. (that`s praise) – that second stanza paints it perfectly. I like your use of the words `spike` `fetid` and `glean`.

Striking how the end-rhyming overpowers the
enjambments and the blank line typography of
stanza three, and (or is it just me) makes you
wish that `cowled` and `boiled` had the ancient
Elizabethan endings?

Like the play between `duller` and brighter`
but don`t think that the word `bulb` goes with it.

Very enjoyable and impressive.

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