Hockey anyone?

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(Interior, night, rain against window pane.
He, In a Dinner Suit, standing, looking out 
of the window, hands clasped behind his back. She, seated, wearing a ball gown and worrying her beads.

They speak in clipped middle class tones)
 

She: ''Of course it was...(pause) before...(pause) before the war...''

He: (sighing)''Yes ...everything was before the war...(pause) such waste...warfare!''

She: ''Please don't mock Mungo, he only (voice trailing off) ...It's unworthy of you.''
(She looks at his back)

He: '' what am I supposed to think?...you ...he...and the...''

She: ''No don't...never, never say... don't ...ever...please...''
(Breaks down crying)

He: ''So, you are pregnant?...fine, dam fine!''

She: '' Please don't swear Harris...(pause) I only did it for you...''

He: (Turns and In an incredulous tone) '' You did it for me?''

She: '' Oh you are impossible!''
(She exits the room, sobbing, discarding her beads.
He turns back to the window, then under his breath)

He: '' And to think I 'doubled down' a pair of nines!''

 

words and foto T Carroll

◄ Algiers

The Touching ►

Comments

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Fri 22nd Aug 2014 22:50

...and you Laura are the mistress to fortune, or something, anyway ta la! ;)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 20th Aug 2014 12:18

You are the master of such teasery though Tommy - it's something you excel at. The reader never ever gets the whole story - and I for one love that.

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Mon 11th Aug 2014 00:27

Hi Natalie, ta for your comment here. I like the idea of a lack of build up, enter mid-scene, leave mid-scene. I was told by my English tutor that that was not real literature(some years ago) and that put me off. Natalie, I have a log-book of such including this ''Hockey'' excerpt. You have only to ask. tommy 11656

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Mon 11th Aug 2014 00:21

Hi Winston ta for your comment. I could argue that the simpler the dialogue the easier to understand and the more powerful your message will resound: ''Eat less move more'' ;) tommy

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winston plowes

Sun 10th Aug 2014 22:02

I have never written a play but You are showing us how powerful a simple dialogue can be here Tommy. Not so simple to do as well as this though. x

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