Just like everyone else

except your flames burned brighter

more smoked burned my eyes

you had prettier words

your lies seemed more believable

your poison tasted sweeter

you had me convinced that when i cried

you were singing me lullabies

so i smiled in between

hiccups

and choking

sniffing and empty

a paradise i loved

but you're somewhere else

holding the skin of someone

someone

that wasn't lying in bed

turning phrases over in their mind

creating story lines

with eyelids plastered together by a false hope they created in their imagination

making dreams their heaven

because they were too weak to open their eyes up to hell

a large princess bed

thick covers and pregnant silence

think of you

think of you

think of you

giggle and sniff

i've read every line of beautiful words you string together

all the sad stories you made sound beautiful

i toss in my sleep and recite them

pushing that whole in me out further

it may swallow me one day

all the experiences of another reality i could never explain

all the dreams i can never begin to riddle out to people

the ones that make me shake and shiver

deep in my bones where

not even breathing makes sense

you were my answer

so much more than this life

i connected you with all the impossible, other dimension, unexplainable experiences

you became my answers

you were sad

because you thought i didn't understand you

and you pulled my strings so easily

you laughed when i fell apart in your hands

arms and legs bents almost perfectly in the wrong way

you may get the gist of me

but when i close my eyes

you'll never meet anyone

with the pictures carved in my eyelids

as i do

I love you