On a path of self destruction

Late night partying, drugs, and too many days that can’t be remembered

Drowning in the deep end

Consumed with the uncertainty of not knowing what to be

Simply not knowing how to be

Finding love in various broken ways

In the arms of the unwanted, in several friendships based on convenience

Unable to call out for help, due to stubborn pride

Than came a surprise

Here came a sense of solitude

A sense of direction , a eager sense of hope

The need to be better

Built inside was a savior

Healthier regime was forced to be the way of life

Finding out how to survive, was longer a option

It was needed to overcome all immediate obstacles

The immense amount of love of the unknown told so

The cravings, the flutters against a growing belly, consistently a reminder

The overwhelming need be a mother, coupled with the reality of pregnancy

Immediate change in a positive direction

This granted purpose

9 months later, bearing the greatest gift, the birth of a child

Than came a surprise

A new mother’s embrace, swaddling her lifeless child

There they lie, still born

Engulfed in prideful tears, viewing a immaculately beautiful lifeless being

No sudden sounds of an infant wailing, as their first cry

Just a sudden sense of stillness, a sudden sense of peace

That day a savior let go, a mind set free

The hardest life lessons all taught in one day

Saved by sadness, saved by true love

Given even for minutes of time, a purity of un-conditional love

Granted an angel, to demand the drive to live in the moment

To have the clarity to embrace struggle, and achievements as life success’s

To live each day as it just may be your very last

The ability to be thankful for not knowing what to be, and finding the will on to how to be

Such a precious little being, opening the gates to a mother’s life

Thought about every single day, yearned for in every single way, and loved more than life it’s self

A savior, a pristine, beautiful baby- girl