No Guarantee
In life there is no
guarantee of anything.
There is no guarantee of happiness.
There is no guarantee that we won't feel hurt.
There is no guarantee that there won't
be any struggles along the way.
There is no guarantee that anything will be easy.
There is no such thing as a guarantee.
Life is something
that we cannot truly understand.
Because, no matter how many times
we ask and search for answers
there are no answers found.
In life there is no guarantee
and is something we cannot truly
understand.
Anthony Emmerson
Wed 22nd Oct 2014 16:25
Hi S.T,
And welcome to W.o.L. I caught sight of Graham's comment below re posts disappearing and followed the trail to this little gem of a poem! (I read all your other stuff along the way.) Out of the poems you have posted this one stands out to me. You have taken a "universal statement" -
In life there is no
guarantee of anything -
and done something very clever with it. It's intelligently written, (maybe one or two little grammar niggles, (but nothing to worry about; a little re-read and edit easily fixes those) accessible and speaks to every one of us.
I have singled this out from your other poems because it has a different voice. Your other work seems to be very personal and is clearly your "voice" - although I realise they may not be autobiographical. The voice of this poem is more that of an anonymous narrator - it could be anyone writing or speaking these words. This, for me, strengthens to poem, e.g. if you had written, instead of:
"There is no guarantee of happiness."
I know there is no guarantee of happiness
I feel there is no guarantee of happiness
I think there is no guarantee of happiness
It becomes an opinion rather than a statement, and the voice becomes less plausible. I like the way you have set the poem out, it flows well and would be good to hear - how about posting an audio? It's not too difficult to do. In terms of basics I would edit like this:
In life there is no (good opening statement)
guarantee of anything.
There is no guarantee of happiness.
There is no guarantee that we won't feel (be hurt or feel pain maybe?) hurt.
There is no guarantee that there won't
be (any) (perhaps think of cutting the "any", or tightening the whole line - something along the lines of - of a struggle free existence, charmed life etc.) struggles along the way.
There is no guarantee that anything (things?) will be easy.
There is no such thing as a guarantee. (This line is a real clincher - and a great place to pause. If you wanted more impact you could simplify to - There are NO guarantees.)
Life is something
(that - cut this maybe?) we cannot (do not?) truly understand.
(Because,- you could cut this - it gives more authority) no matter how many times
we ask and search for answers
there are no answers (to be) found.
In life there is no guarantee
(maybe replace and with it)(and)It is something we (cannot truly) (maybe just "do not" is stronger)
understand.
I hope you found this helpful - and not too critical of a poem I really enjoyed reading. It made me think - which is what all good poetry should aim for!
Regards,
A.E.