(Something for Hallowe'en.  Thought I'd posted this previously but it must have been on FB)

 

He was playing in defence in a World Cup game

When he suddenly said, “What in Heaven’s name!”

The pain he felt made his blood run colder

He saw he was missing a chunk of his shoulder

It was The Gnash

It was The Monster Gnash

There was a clash

And he was rather rash

A dental slash

And Uruguayan gash

It was The Gnash

It was The Suarez Gnash.

 

Now no-one would say he was a bit of a patsy

He’d kicked and been kicked by Marco Materazzi

He’s no glasshouse flower but when it comes to the boot

He don’t bring the game into disrepute

With his teeth

It was Suarez’s teeth

That’s his beef

And sincere belief

He could stand

A brute or a thief

But it’s girls

Not men use their teeth.

 

I’ve seen in my my time the odd hard guy

Like Norman and Chopper and Dave Mackay

Players who’d break up your counter attack

And into the bargain give you a good whack

They tackled right

And would never bite

You’d never cite

Them as whiter than white

And though they might

Cause a ruck or a fight

They’d never bite

The Uruguayan Bite.

 

I’ve seen a film about Jaws the Shark

And Dracula who appears after dark

And Iron Mike Tyson saying, “What’s this ear?”

But now we’ve another snapper to fear

Cos it’s The Gnash

The Monster Gnash

It’s not a kick

Or a thump or a bash

But a slash

He was quick as a flash

With his Gnash

It was The Suarez Gnash.