The Echoes poetry competition to celebrate Write Out Loud's 20th anniversary is now open.  Judged by Neil Astley.

Competition closes in 8 days, 8 hours. Get details and Enter.

Snapshot Narrative

entry picture

 

The remains of a day                                                              

lie extinguished, discarded,

disregarded by the passers-by.

 

Silver-tipped echo of a mouth

unremarked upon

and common

in its everyday normality.

 

Evocatively comforting

in stained familiarity;

an endless capability

for rainbow possibilities

of shining eyes and laughter lines,

tequila secrets, vodka sobs,

sambuca snot and promises

to kiss and tell

the tales of a half-starved mind:

 

a wide-eyed Friday night

tongue-tip let-it-rip

club-queue puff;

 

a chance meet, catching up –

 

            how’s the kids?

            you’re looking well

            where you off?

            be good!

 

a rubied reminiscence

of minor misdemeanors,

under-age everything;

overwrought rage;

 

a backstage pre-gig minted inhalation;

synaptic satiety, dopamine reward;

 

a post-chip-barm

application in vermillion;

a street scene signalling

an end or a beginning;

 

ten minutes killed

in a bus-stop trance;

a midnight taxi rank

hand-to-eye dance;

a dawn walk accoutrement

brazening the birdsong,

a smile on her face

and her head held high.

 

The remains of a day

lie myriad, reflective,

a snapshot narrative

provocatively beckoning

the hungry-eyed muse.

 

 

richpix

◄ Nativity ‘73

The Farty Party Manifesto ►

Comments

Travis Brow

Thu 5th Mar 2015 07:17

''a snapshot narrative

provocatively beckoning

the hungry-eyed muse.''

This is it; the nub, the font of inspiration. You nailed it.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Wed 4th Feb 2015 13:25

Thanks Ian - much happier with this than the 'Framed' haiku, which I've now removed!

Profile image

Ian Whiteley

Tue 3rd Feb 2015 19:15

YES! much better Laura - reminds me of one of those 1960's dramas - all monochrome and 'life in a day' type context. Picture works well with the words - nicely understated - something you see every day but WHAM! those words bring the drama's of such a simple image to life - good 'un chuck

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Tue 3rd Feb 2015 09:48

Cheers Greg - yes, that's exactly how I wanted to frame it. That moment of your eyes alighting on something, then the crazed few seconds of the possibilities :)

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Profile image

Greg Freeman

Mon 2nd Feb 2015 16:14

A quiet beginning and end to this, Laura, which I'm sure is what you intended. "Tequila secrets" is the line that first catches the eye, lifts the head, I reckon. "Brazening the birdsong" is great.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses only functional cookies that are essential to the operation of the site. We do not use cookies related to advertising or tracking. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message