A Bit More Choke And The Car Would Have Started
This is a problem
That affects the masses
The quick release
Of intestine gases
But how do we get
To this situation?
It starts in the mouth
With mastication
A mouthful of food
A taste sensation
You chew and you chomp
Gastro delectation
One final chew
Before you swallow
Eye up your plate
Another forkful to follow
Then into the stomach
With a number of factions
Acids and enzymes
And Muscular contractions
In the intestines
A few tiny bubbles start
To gather together
The birth of the fart
The bubbles get bigger
Hustle and jostle for position
The start of the journey
For rectal emissions
They push past the food
Thats partially digested
It's done in a hurry
Dinners almost molested
There's some way to go
Before journey's end
Noisily navigating
Each intestinal bend
The fart gathers pace
And bounces around
It noisily gurgles
Until an exits found
There's only one place
That this can go
That's to the anus
The start of the show
Here's the good bit
The noise it generates
Is caused by the sphincter
As it flaps and vibrates
Some guffs are quiet
As they sneak out
But others less fussy
Break out with a shout
It affects the men
And women folk too
It's best noisily echoed
Whilst sat on the loo
I hear women gasp
Go on if you dare
Deny the expulsion
Of fart scented air
You know you do it
As much as the men
It makes us blokes laugh
Again and again
Men just aren’t bothered
They’ll fart anywhere
Just let it roam free
Without any care
Ladies are different
A bit disconcerting
They’ll hold it in
’Til everything’s hurting
They walk around
And ease and squeeze
It out in small chunks
Like a gentle breeze
We know you do it
We're not daft you see
Don't stifle your fart
Just let it run free
Don’t be afraid
Let it be a pleasure
To tickle your arse cheeks
Just like a feather
If you smell fart
And you don’t know whose
Don’t get angry
It was just left to amuse
You just need a retort for
When some bugger farted
“A bit more choke and
The car would have started"
