Take Away Love
Your hunger was clear
It was the line of
Your delivery, I feared
Your eyes scanned
And selected one
From a menu
Of one hundred and one
Your need was too much
To make it home
Entering a doorway
You exposed
Wrapping ripped
And pushed roughly back
Just showing enough
For you to attack
Finger shoved in
For a sample taste
Of the pleasure
That lay in wait
You dirty bastard
Did you mutter Grace?
Whilst I stared at your
Beautiful contorted face
Fluids mixed
In a cocktail of haste
A curdle of raspberry ripple
We did create
A groan escaped
Followed by a
Belch of contentment
This burning heat
Will need some redemption
Cold and congealing
Thrown at your feet
Another half- eaten take away
Left on the street
Lynn Hamilton
29.03.2015
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 18th Apr 2015 12:17
Good strong ideas with potent language to match. The metaphor never flags -which takes good concentrated writing. I did like 'the finger first' point, as it indicated some degree of responsibility for not hurting the female body unduly and shows also some degree of mutual acceptance of the sex act. Intercourse is just that - nothing more - and you capture the purely physical very well. And then you punch out the real issue of the poem.
It's not easy to write about sex without implying erotica, but sex and sexuality are fair subjects for good poetry.