Jeopardy
Jeopardy
Standing there silently
Just having a wee
Staring at the wall
‘Cos there's nothing to see
Just wiggling it about
To alter the stream
Peace and tranquility
Is not what it seems
There’s ying and yang
And other forces at play
The imps are at work
Set to ruin your day
It starts at that moment
When the bladders half empty
Half full if you prefer
But that is still plenty
Plenty of liquid
Still yet to syphon
Though the one eye
Of the trouser python
You see it all happening
In ultra slow motion
The chain of events
The start of a commotion
What’s this event?
What can it be?
What will happen?
To interrupt this long pee
The raised toilet seat
Is starting its travels
The serenity of the piss
Will soon start to unravel
No amount of staring
Will make the seat stay
In its upright position
Its accelerating away
You need to be quick
Whatever you do
Urine is still flowing
From you to the loo
Both hands are in use
If that's what your hoping
One on the old fella
One holding the zip open
What you can't do
It's seems quite extreme
Just like ghostbusters
Never cross the stream
Squeeze the pudding
To halt the flow
The seat passes by
On with the show
The target is smaller
By a tiny bit
Even with crosshairs
The water you can’t hit
You miss by a mile
And hit the seat
Splashing the floor, wall
And both of your feet
Your feet are all bare
As you wiggle your toes
Down into the gaps
The urine just flows
Like paddling your feet
In warm sea water
Feels quite pleasant
More than it ought to
The end is in sight
The bladders deflated
The gush is a trickle
You're feeling elated
Quick tap on the end
Give it three shakes
To rid the dribbles
That’s all it takes
A few things to do
Clean the seat
The wall and the floor
Then wash your feet.
