I washed her from my pillow-slips.
In a white plastic bucket
I soaked away her body's
breath,
and with bleach removed
the evidence she had left.
We snatched the time
to make our marks
with sweat
and firm commitments.
The stains on stolen sheets
proved easier to erase
than those she ground
into the fabric of my thinking
I watched as traces of our time
together turned the water dark.
re-edit
words & foto Tommy Carroll
Tony cheers- Thanks for your insight. Chet Baker perhaps? ?
You've done it again Tommy lad - written a poem that is so evocative it aches; I can feel it, smell it, it is poetically dense. Just the fact of 'stolen sheets' is pregnant with potential interpretations. That first line is just killer. How to open a poem!
The clinical white plastic bucket contrasting with the physical remains of passion - just...wow!
Fucking brilliant, as they say in our house ;)
fantastic poem, well written with pure depth Tommy, could imagine it read with a bit of jazz in the background :) beautiful!
Thanks Lynn, it's much appreciated. :)
Lynn Hamilton
Fri 29th May 2015 17:27
Love the whole but the last two lines are fab
CBT indeed - 50 shades of water :)
Dark times = dark water?
Correct Graham, this is a re-edit. :)
Tommy I think I must have missed this first time around (that's if you posted before).
There are some good words here.
We snatched the time
to make our marks
with sweat
and firm commitments.
and the last two lines are brilliant.
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Tommy Carroll
Tue 9th Jul 2019 12:07
Laura High praise indeed. Tommy