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palm polly

The memory of our first kiss

Swims to the surface of my soul

Whenever I need it to release its heady balm

And remind me of why we fight

Your exquisite skin

Like china

I brushed with my knuckles

Checking the voltage still remained

The sparks flew

As they always had

The rain beat down upon us

But we were dry

The people stared

But we were alone

Your soft, cold lips

Pressed against mine

The warmth in my stomach

And in my groin

Orchids grew where we stood

Thick and heady

The scent of love

The scent of hope

That kiss seemed to last a thousand years

And within it every moment we would ever share

Pressed image on my eyes 

◄ scythe

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Comments

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John Bastard

Thu 23rd Jul 2015 12:13

i disagree with cynthia: movies have scenes because art imitates life in exaggerated ways that serve to explore the depth of human feeling.

sometimes a kiss strikes you so deeply and so hard you dip down deep, touching a greater panorama of feeling where goosebumps are miles apart. every detail of the world for a city block spins around you, her, and that blissful eternity of a minute stretches out -- out and out and down for what could very well be forever -- until at last you part and return to the droop-lidded cold reality. Holding hands feels monochromatic by comparison.
or at least that's what i've felt.

you could call it a movie scene or you can call it a moment, bigger than the kiss itself. sometimes it goes the other way and your everything turns into the warmth and tactility of lips touching lips, which is great. but sometimes it goes from outside to inside to outside. really it all depends on what you remember (or what you want)

blah blah blah, ramble ramble
amen

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Stu Buck

Sat 18th Jul 2015 13:20

Hello!
The ghost orchid, or palm polly, does indeed smell although many orchids dont.
you are completely correct regarding the cinematic bombastifying of this scene (is that a word?) and i have taken this on board for my first rewrite. i am guilty of not editing poems before they appear on here, but i do genuinely take any criticism on board and rejig as neccessary.
the perspective of this piece is important to me, and you have a great point about staying true to it. thanks!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 18th Jul 2015 11:58

'Orchids grew where we stood' is a lovely poetical line. One among many lovely images.

I am being really picky here: do orchids actually smell? Darned if I'm sure, thinking about orchids.

And also, if you are so engrossed in your kiss, how do you know 'people stared'?

I guess what I'm considering is that, if you create a certain given perspective, it is always better to be true to the initial idea and not turn it into a movie scene. Do you follow me?

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