Scarred

You don’t know me

Don’t ever think you do

Yet I always scream...

Stop judging me;

Stop condemning me;

Stop criticizing me;

And please don’t stare for too long;

Don’t smile to broadly, it’s rude

Don’t like narrow smiles either, Fake

I will bow my head, please don’t do it

 

I love you, you said

But why, I asked

Have you seen a weakling?

Do I act desperate?

I was only jumping,

Never meant to get your attention

I am sorry.

Ha! I bet I am your 7th choice

Of course, that’s all I ever get

 

This isn’t fair!

This isn’t right

I cannot change me,

I cannot change my past

Blame my parents for my background,

Blame God if you are courageous enough,

He chose it all

God planned it all

I had no hand in that,

He never asked what I preferred

Had He asked, would I still be like this?

 

I was only trying to help,

Never thought it would end this way

I have tried to be wise

Read the dictionary a million times

At least my words made heads turn towards me

They seemed impressed but not for long

It’s nothing new

Ha! It’s just me

Please give me a chance

Forget it!

You don’t even know

My head goes back down

 

She looks so pretty

It’s makeup,

I know, it is

Wish I could look so pretty too,

But heads will turn towards me,

They may be too fast,

Even the gentle ones, will stare

And those are the eyes I run from

My head will bowed again

I am not even that pretty

What’s makeup going to do?

It’s just me, nothing special

 

I have arrived can’t you see me?

Please don’t,

My thoughts may be disoriented

Don’t scream, my voice won’t be heard

Don’t jump so high, I won’t be seen

Please don’t walk like you own the world

I may be evicted

And could you bow your head too

I fear I will stand out

Don’t laugh yet,

My humor is different

why?

 

Help me lift my head,

Would you?

I am tired

Please don’t walk away too,

I promise I will change for you

Don’t change for me, he said

I may be gone tomorrow

Would you change for the next too?

What do you want to be?

Find her in you and be her.

You are enough

Lift your head now

Look at the stars,

Look at the sun, the moon

They are yours too

Henrietta ATSUPI

June, 2015