I still remember the meagre collection
- shirley bassey tihuana brass neil diamond's greatest hits -
and a couple of 45s
- one of which - tommy steele's confession - we never played -

but we would stack the rest
and dance until they dropped
- then dance some more

flared trousers swinging
- the green patterned pile carpet -
and my sisters osmond lp

later I asked my mother
what she did in the sixties
and where was her music

....

walking into town -
suddenly I am holding a man's hand
- broad - strong - yet childish
enough to seek a fathers love

blue slushie stained teeth grin at me
- a blob of chocolate ice cream under the nose -

every song I sing is boring

---

it was only when later
- cheque to cheque - without a washing machine -
that I understood the paucity of music

and my mother nods
in that most irritating of ways -
like when she reads over my shoulder -
or says she doesn't understand my poems
unless I read them aloud

....

it is only when writing
I understand the happiness
of experience

and see through the lies
of peddled shared guilt