We are only alive for a cosmic second

 and each gluon and quark and photon

 and electron individually is like a nebulae

 if you look at it hard enough and each

 millimetre of our bodies contains

1000000000000000000

atoms and quantum theory tells us that

 the universe is made up of the reaction

 that takes place when a blanket of things

 that are everywhere and nowhere at the

 same time interact and we can see and we

 can breathe and everything that can happen

 will happen but it only happened because of

an infinitesimal bit of luck but you know what

 that is ok because the universe is so enormous

 that infinitesimal luck occurs all the fucking time

 and because of that we are probably surrounded

 (in as much as we can be)

by civilized life and beautiful planets with 

one hundred metre trees and endless oceans 

and other creatures just waiting to be discovered

 and even though I can comprehend all of this I still can’t understand

why you died.