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So is the unyielding weight of the world,
But a symbol of our own demise,
Binding us to the planet on which we walk,
Keeping us far from the reach of the skies.

Though, if we so choose to drop what we hold,
And see how it's caused us much pain,
The way may be shown, if our spirits were grown,
And we'd let go and dance in the rain.

(If we stay on our path of comfort and ease,
And continue to ignore the signs,
Then so shall we fall into pits of despair,
And render ourselves deaf and blind.)

 

The last stanza, which I put in brackets, I feel is off with the poem, but I wrote it at the same time. I guess my mind went elsewhere for that one, and it upsets me, although I'm putting it in the same entry anyway.

◄ The Journey's Just Begun

A New Hope ►

Comments

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Eric Berard

Wed 9th Mar 2016 21:06

Oh goodness, sorry about the late response haha, I never received an email about this comment. I'm not too sure how to feel about this one myself :P It has a different feel to it than my normal pieces. I feel the other ones convey, or at least try to convey insight. This one feels more as if I, or the voice of the poem, is speaking from a point of power. Dignity and cadence as you say, I would say are two good words to describe it hahaha

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jeremy young

Sun 14th Feb 2016 12:32

this has a very nice cadence, and a certain dignity

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