Cyberwonky

 

In virtual villas up silicon valleys

where slithering software saves smart system scans

as digital data on double-click disk drives,

pixelling programmers podcast their plans.

 

So beware blogging browsers with up-to-date hardware

fragmenting folders and battering RAM,

smashing your windows, uploading your icons,

cluttering your desktop with cookies and spam.

 

Watch out for viruses trimming and pasting

fine facebook photos to horrible sites,

blackberry bugs and web-spinning spiders

munching your memory in superfast bytes.

 

Avoid laptop dancers with add-on devices,

twittering trolls sharing google-eyed grins

spraying your screen with malignant mouse droppings

and skyping junk files from your recycle bins.

 

If you really fear Geeks bearing vile Trojan horses

or pirates with i-patches kindling your router

as they hack their way through, past your freestanding firewall,

the remedy’s simple – don’t buy a computer.