This is a re-post which might perhaps cast a little light on
a couple of the ongoing discussions about comments and
 `posthumously` changing-or not changing-a finished poem. 

AFTERWARDS

Asleep?
So soon?
How quietly you breathe,
How almost imperceptible
The gentle rising of your breast.
Swiftly indeed
The insistent urging of desire
Has succumbed
And docile now
Rocks
In it`s peaceful bay.

Outside
The trees
Are absolutely still.
And motionless
Wide continents of cloud
Have hidden the moon.
Somewhere
The murmur
Of a pebbly stream
Croons Continuously 
While, from afar,
Muffled along a lonely motorway,
The sound of a passing traveller
Purrs,
Then fades.

Lying here beside you,
I try to guess
What delicate courtesy of dream
Tiptoes
With such decorum 
Through your sleep.
Until I too
Lulled by your quiet breathing,
Surrender,
And fall back,
And drift to slee....

But just before I went to sleep
 I swear
That the tall, gaunt,
 Guardian of the Dark
Drew back the clouds,
 Blew out the moon and stars
And, looking down,
 Smiled on us for a moment
Then crept away.

----------------------------- 

The last five lines of the original poem (a sort of concluding aside)
were written in iambic form and consequently looked like this.

(But just before I fell to sleep I swear
That the tall, gaunt, Guardian of the dark
Drew back the clouds, blew out the moon and stars
And, looking down, smiled on us for a moment
................................................Then crept away)

A (friendly) commment was made that the end bit spoiled
 the flow of the main work, but - at that time - rather fond of
the form I didn`t change it...However, looking at it again last
night, I realised that the typographical form of those last five
lines ( in a `free style read down the line` type of poem) did
`stick out` and spoil the flow of the main work, so I changed
it by doing the same words in free. (another comment that it
would work without the last five lines was also true (but I`ve
grown too fond of them now) :)...What does anyone think?