That second Lizzie
That once in a life second
The way you laughed that night
The way you fetched service
The way you looked- this easy...
The way you knew who we were that night
The way you were followed by all
The way you were trailed by me
The way you were sure of this and that
The way you were so easy to be
So very easy In my company...
Tommy I think this is powerful It captures so many facets, time, place, relationships, in a simply stated short format. As other observers have noted of similar poems, it's a short story in itself. I hope Lizzie liked it.
Thank you for your comments Andy. The line you object to is in fact central to the poem: It lays in the center 6 th line of 11 and is pivotal as that night was to spin around for days to come...
The twist is nice, m8... Feels a bit long to get to it to me - you may want to think about one or two lines for example 'The way you knew who we were that night' seems a bit un-needed to me.. Nice poem thou!
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Tommy Carroll
Sun 26th Jul 2009 20:06
alas the week-end came went and so did we: She's never read it nor seen the foto.