Satisfaction
The World’s Best Suicide Bomber
Forty Seven missions to his name
But he hadn’t killed a single person
Just couldn’t have stood the shame.
Not totally convinced that
Ninety Virgins awaited
And non too sure about
Some other terms stated,
He’d just accept the mission
Then he’d take off his vest
In some secluded place
Which he thought was best,
And blow up a bit of property
Mostly delapidated stuff
First checking it was empty
‘cos he didn’t like playing rough.
They might all have promised him
A time of luxury up in Paradise
And he really did admit
The thought of it was nice
But it really was just therory
And he had a lovely life
Back home in Croydon
With three bairns and his wife.
He also had a little niggle,
Couldn’t help wondering why
None of his Religious leaders
Were ever queuing up to die.
If Paradise was so rewarding
Why was there such a dearth
Of Mullahs and other Leaders
In the queue to leave this Earth.
On solid reflection he thought
That what he did was best,
Coming home alive after
Safely blowing up his vest.
And when he finally retired
From the Suicide Bomber game
He coud proudly boast of
Not a single death to his name.
Harry O'Neill
Tue 10th May 2016 23:05
A humorously pacific terrorism story by Ali Hugo First :)