1.Holiday Abroad

 

Booked us all on a holiday

Take the family away for a while

Yes, of course I had to pay

Even went the extra mile

 

Get the ferry over to the other side

Relax, have fun lying in the sun

But the ferry’s neither long nor wide

Worrying, but what is done is done

 

The engine can’t be big enough

Just seem to be drifting along

But it’s quiet, can’t hear it as such

Still, very worrying, hoping I’m wrong

 

People are being sick everywhere

On board, overboard, not a pretty sight

More than my poor family can bear

If I had to reconsider, I think I might

 

I’ll be complaining about the service

The general lack of facilities

How I’m beginning to feel nervous

Someone has abdicated their responsibilities

 

No-one can even find a loo

The brochure promised lots of those

But people just have to go outside the boat and inside too

And now it’s coming close to blows

 

Drifting, drifting, no idea of our route

And now another large grey vessel approaches

Giving out an ear-splitting hoot

Take cover, are they pirates or poachers?

 

But no, they are here to save us

Rescue us from our sick-filled coffin

On board, this has caused an almighty fuss

Even brought smiles to all those that were coughing

 

But sadly, even though we’re now on land

It isn’t what I paid for - £100 a night

For the sun, the sea and the sand

No, now we’re just in one big campsite

And I don’t even know where we are.