Poets in Need

(in partnership with the Campaign for Real Poetry and Poet Relief)

“Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be laughed at and ridiculed. Difficult eh? Not nice. But how much worse to be ignored and unrecognised?”

 While you’re sitting there wallowing in the self-satisfaction that comes from not giving a toss what people think about you, mired to the armpits in TV soaps, real life cop dramas, and hospital crises, there is a group of people beyond, a group of people who can only envy the comfort and certainty of your life style and belief. These are people with a compulsion to gaze into mirrors in the vain hope that one day they will recognise themselves as someone famous. Take John (that’s not her real name of course). It’s many years now since John had a good night’s sleep. His preoccupation with being unknown creates existential paralysis which can only be compared to that of the rabbit who feels a failure through never having been caught in someone’s headlights. Now is your chance to make some impact on the plight of these needy people. Act now!  Help an unrecognised poet feel famous.

To adopt a poet for a day, week or month ring extension 01 and quote “McGough”

To pay for a month’s supply of a chosen poet’s tranquiliser or stimulant of choice ring extension 02 and quote “Bukowski”

To send a poet on a training course which will help him identify both hands and his sphincter in only two short weeks ring Extension 03 and quote “Motion”.

Pledge now and make the world a happier place for poets.

Put a smile on a poet’s face today.

Together we can change the world.

This advertisement has been entirely produced on recycled ideas and our campaign has been launched without any reference to common sense, logic, subtlety or sensitivity.

This appeal has nothing to do with Write out Loud or any other branded poetry organisation.

All references to “he” should be interpreted to represent all or any of the five gender states.

Poets in Need has no political or faith group affiliations, thank God.

Poets in Need is committed to the three principles of Risque Assessment, Equal Opportunities for all those we allow in as members, and Gender Equality within the limits of the tie and knicker rule (p.47 clause 6).

Remember it could happen to you, so give generously.