Reminiscing on my lustful youth

Oh! all the times that I had

I thought myself very clever

I had these two girlfriends on the go

I would brag to my mates

I just to see the looks on their faces

Dad got me out of a few close shaves

My although he didn’t approve

He questioned my morals

Treating women like a business

Dad called it ‘balancing books’

Our front door being ‘goods in’

Said I should show more respect

What did he know he’s well past it

Another saying of his was annoying

 ‘You’ll get your fingers burnt’, ‘nah!’ says I

 

Of course, Dad was right and came the day

My bridges were burnt to the ground

I looked at my diary, shit! double booked

What story would keep them sweet?

I felt like ‘Pinocchio’, my nose grew

All the lies I was scheming

Dad walked in giving me grief

He looked like Jimminy Cricket, damn conscience     

Being less wise then, I went with my plan

It was timed to perfection, or was it

Sarah and I arrived at the restaurant

A candle lit dinner, rom… Bloody Hell!

There sat at table was the double booking

They looked at each other, then at me

I smiled back sheepishly, dumb struck

In my mind I shouted ‘Jiminy Cricket’ my lights went out

 

Waking up next day I had learnt a painful lesson,

 ‘Grass isn’t greener on the other side’

I looked in the mirror and decided grass was

I pondered, red with a black eye and split lip

Jiminy walked in with that all knowing smug look

Oh! I hated it when he was right

Two weeks later I was back in the saddle with Joanne,

I decided to be more respectful

We had been dating for about six months

I booked us a table at this posh restaurant

We were going for a drink first; pop the question later

I had the perfect night was all set

Got the drinks in, got pulled from my seat

This guy said,’ that’s my girlfriend?”

The moral of the tail is that in the affairs of the heart

Don’t learn you’re two times table

© Phil Golding Dec 2007