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Laborer

The man began to cry

Four feet from my ears

Which stretched and strained

To catch his conversation

In their elastic curiosity

Great fat tears

Sliding down the mountains and valleys

Cheeks and hollowed out lines

In the corners of eyes and lips

Wetting the paper skin

As shoulders shook and hands trembled

Some words about a daughter

A young girl not seen for a while

The tender sorrow brought to

An unintentionally absent father

Pain is the color of the water

Draining from the ducts

on this man’s lash line

his white overalls

stained with the sun

of labor done with his hands

not his mind

his face now drying

salty residue in the hairs of his chin

lapping up the remains of his Americano

I lose interest

🌷(1)

◄ Cover Letter

If only she ►

Comments

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Alexandra Rockwell Lorenz

Wed 6th Jul 2016 12:16

Thank you as always Colin. I really appreciate that you take the time to make suggestions. I am glad the feeling of disconnect came through for you.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 6th Jul 2016 09:19

I wondered whether changing 'his' Americano to 'my' would add an extra punch to the ending? Although I understand that it might not be a true reflection of your experience - poetry can be a mix of the real and the made up. But don't change it - just an alternative approach that's all. Nice poem btw. I'm sure we've all been in that situation and felt the same hopeless disconnect.

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