God has a funny way of revealing himself to you. sometimes id question if he could hear me. if he was listening. i didnt know if i was doing it right. ive never been into going to church every sunday. it was something about the people there. i didnt feel accepted or as if i belonged. i felt theyd look at me like what the hell is she doing here. sometimes that would push me further from god. i thought if all these people are going to heaven thats a place i dont want to go. i remembered feeling lost as all these people would judge you for questioning god, doing drugs, having sex, questioning sexual orientation. all things i could relate to. i felt if they knew what ive done theyd cast me to hell. sometimes i felt i thought too much about my religion, like i was looking for a reason to not believe, i questioned everything about it. then i prayed more talked more to god. i knew god loved me all of me. even if the people didnt understand. he wants to be in my life. even if im struggling with demons daily even if i feel im living a half lit life with god i knew it was better than nothing and i knew all that mattered was my desire to grow closer to him. no one could ever take that away from me. and i knew that just because you attend church every sunday it does not grant you a place in heaven it does not even make you better than anyone else. my advice would be have a big heart for thoes who stray from god and are sheep to the system we live, for they need it most.