Antisocial Transport
Day long seminar
Festival of knowledge
Understood
But registered?
Time will tell
They say
It always does.
An hour long wait
For an hour long journey.
Eye-contact is awkward
Unwanted
Interaction at a rudimentary level
Has no place here.
Even those together
Are not.
Our knot
This tangled mass of bodies.
Imagine the stories
The tales
The wondrous lives
I don't want to know
Nobody does
But imagine.
My thoughts have lingered
Here
Too long
On this thought
On this carriage
Not that others will be better
Nor worse.
The stories
The tales
The wondrous lives
Nobody knows
Well, nobody here
And
Well
Do they want to?
No.
Better to imagine
The stories
The tales
The wondrous lives.
To my left
Leanne
Fought through thoughts
Battled to a clear head
Found God
Fell in love with the idea
Rejected it
Now fights fraught thoughts of others
Battles them better
Or at least arms them
To fight
Themselves
Their thoughts.
Pruposefully vague
Fill in the blanks
Let your imagination flow
Flood your mind
Fill it often
But start with the blanks
Of Leanne
Or not.
She's gone now anyway
Forever
Immortal.
Frances Macaulay Forde
Tue 7th Feb 2017 03:22
HI Mel,
Again, I appreciate your note-taking style but find the poem often hides itself amongst the notes:
I feel you could develop the following lines to make a stronger poem:
Our knot
This tangled mass of bodies
Imagine the stories
The tales
The wondrous lives
I don't want to know
Nobody does
But imagine
Again, only my humble opinion but given in a constructive sense. I feel you look with a poetic eye but haven't yet mastered how to interpret it fully.?
Best,
Frances.