JOHN COOPEY (R.I.P)
As worldwide fans will know, I am partial to my history. I’m currently working my way through the “Horrible Histories” compendium by Terry Deary – kid’s stuff but absolutely brilliant.
Edging ever closer as I am towards my box and away from my cot, I have given some thought as to the manner of my departure. I am concentrating on three aspects – my cremation, my ashes and my wake, and you will see where the love of history comes into play in a couple of these.
The Cremation
Nothing too fancy, you understand, but something along the lines of Kirk Douglas’s in “The Vikings”. Laid out on a pyre, in a longship, pushed out to drift towards Goole down the River Aire, as archers loose fire arrows into me and a fellow warrior blasts a couple of notes on a cowhorn. (As an aside, if I can get Our Gert interested in Hinduism and its fine but lamented practice of Suttee, I’d be delighted to have her with me).
The Ashes
I recently read on the internet of a bloke who had invented and commercialised a process of pressing loved ones’ ashes into vinyl records. Well, that’s for me! And I want the tracks to include:
Queen Another One Bites the Dust
Dead or Alive You Spin Me Right Round
Johnny Cash Ring of Fire
Englebert Humperdink Please Release Me
Ghostbusters
Queen Under Pressure
The Mindbenders Groovy Kind of Love
David Bowie Ashes to Ashes
Beach Boys I Get Around
(WOL readers – please feel free to add your own suggestions)
The Wake
A Trimalchion feast, the centrepiece of which would be a spit-roasted pig from Brayton Farm Shop. When its belly was slit open out would fly 96 song thrushes (my age, you see). We’d need to book the Village Hall with the Meeting Room doubling up for this occasion as vomitorium. (I know, I know). Chestnut fattened dormice would be the starter with snails in honeyed milk for dessert.
They’ll not forget me in a hurry.
claire crossdale
Mon 1st May 2017 21:54
Ey up John Just spotted this thread and content. Mmmm. Have you run the thrush-stuffed pig by Brayton Farm Shop and which village hall did you have in mind. Presumably NOT Brayton since it would struggle to accommodate the birds let alone the revellers! Please could you work up some words for a poem that references Goole for Boothferry Verses Competition? Before end of May, 40 lines max, free entry, judged by Paul Lyalls and some nice prizes. (Nay sayer is doubting that there will be many entries!!).
BTW no-like ashes but always up for a plate of hash.