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you are now entering wales

people walk small
in the villages next to motorways
and as we make a turn off
the car eases back
and our faces inside pour on the windows
making ugly masks when mixed in with the cruel weather
a sign says that we are now entering Wales
so we hush, and the radio dins in bad reception
much is the same, except that there are double the words on the road signs I see
and the buildings beat with butterfly wings, on their exterior walls
every now and again

◄ the black eye blues

loving frieze ►

Comments

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 16:10

Really good, Emily. I always look for your work. You never disappoint.
One small (very small) suggestion: I would leave out the tag end 'you see'. It lengthens the line by two syllables, and the idea itself is totally understood in the concept of 'signs'. I think it jerks your flow unnecessarily. But that's me.

<Deleted User> (6484)

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 09:28

good piece Emily, more to come on this?
Bernie

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Andy N

Tue 22nd Sep 2009 23:05

i like this, Emily - keep getting drawn to finishing a piece i started as a kid called 'you are now leaving wales' thou but it is not the most subtle off pieces, so not a good idea - lol

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