1.      My basement empire

 

The boss came down to my dimly-lit kingdom

My box-filled basement, my filing-room empire

And shoved this morning’s list of demands

Across the desk at me

“By 9:30 please”

“Yes Sir”

 

He surveyed my empire,

As if seeing it for the first time

Pointing to a set of boxes, he said:

“What’s in those?

The one’s labelled ‘Crackers’”

“They’re Writs, Sir”.

 

He gave me a look

And scanned the room some more

“Judge John Survey’s?”

“Deed Polls, Sir”

“Extortions?”

“Divorces, Sir”

 

He gave me a look

“Wielded by the bosses?”

“Powers Of Attorney, Sir”

“Greater than Words?”

“Actions, Sir”

“And, I suppose, ‘King one day’, must be Wills?”

 

On he went – “Cricket Reviews?”

“Boundary Disputes, Sir”

He jabbed a finger – “’DO NOT OPEN’?”

“Complaints, Sir”

“Ah Yes, Of course. ‘Dirty Mags’?”

I just looked at him, my colour rising.

 

“Ah. Really? May need to confiscate that one”.

He sighed, “So, if I invited you upstairs to my office

And pulled down a box labelled P45’s,

What would you have to say about that?”

“I think I’d say I was screwed, Sir”

He nodded, smiled, turned and, thankfully, went back upstairs.