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Raincoat

The rain was pouring,

Down on your head,

You had a raincoat,

But it was not with you,

For it reminded you of him,

He you'd rather see dead.

 

So it lies all warm,

Up in your cupboard,

While you face the toll of the rain,

With a black cloud overhead,

The sky torn between ebony and graphite,

Made you feel your own life more absurd.

 

The raincoat is mocking you,

Its hood folded in a grin,

Your thumbs press into your temples,

You can't recover from all the love,

All the love that you lost,

Your strength now deathly thin.

 

I'll ask of you now,

Throw that thing away, 

Don't let it haunt you so,

But all so sudden you are gone,

But the raincoat remains in there,

Right to this very day,

◄ Ebay

Diary of Ian Curtis ►

Comments

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Chris Dawson

Sat 3rd Oct 2009 10:04

I like this - I think probably your best, that I've read, so far. Like Cynthia, I like the raincoat as a symbol of hanging on. Though I do now have Cohen's 'Famous Blue Raincoat' stuck in my head.
Cx

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Cate Greenlees

Fri 2nd Oct 2009 12:51

I really like this too. I think we all have something stored from a past relationship which gives a jolt when we come across it. I do!
Cate xx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 2nd Oct 2009 12:23

Joshua, I really like this, using the 'raincoat' to objectify the inability to 'let go'. It is very original, and cleverly done with fine diction and imagery: 'its hood folded into a grin' is super. And then you insert real action: ' your thumbs press into your temple'. Your assonance is flowing, carrying the reader eagerly on to your next idea. I happen to especially enjoy blunt, punchy final lines as you have here.

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