Always I think of you,

I don't know why I do.

It opens doors I cannot close,

I feel adrift in the chaos.

Each time I look inside of me,

Searching for something to hold to my heart.

A memory of pain or fight or slight,

So I can say it's good we're apart.

 I find nothing, there is nothing to find

You were good to me, you treated me right.

I'm lost and lonely I now need you more,

Isn't it funny? The twisted irony of it all.

Why, I still remember, we gave up on love,

Even as I lay in bed on a summer night, cold.

The knowledge is no comfort,

But a reminder of what could be.

The challenges then daunting now seem sweet,

The uncertainity once haunting seems a treat.

Return to me those hurdles, headaches and dreams,

I'd rather live with them than lose the will to go on.

I wish I could tell you, show you this verse,

But pride is my demon, my biggest curse.

So I will smile and pretend all is fine,

Tho God only knows I'm hollow inside.