Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

R.E.M.

I've never held a camera

fast enough to catch the flash

that shown upon your face

 

but, the shutter opening

and closing on my mind's eye

chose it to show a glimpse

 

into fear of the unexpected

and certainty of final fate...

 

because the light knows neither

words to reflect understanding

 

nor argument to reveal wisdom

unto that immeasurable moment

 

I remain prisoner unto

its silent declaration

 

though the lens has darkened, since.

🌷(2)

◄ undivided domain

transfixation ►

Comments

elPintor

Thu 18th May 2017 01:25

Hello, Suki and David..thanks, as always, for reading and commenting.

Somewhat at a tangent to the piece, but words are so inadequate.

Rachel

Profile image

suki spangles

Tue 16th May 2017 23:30

Hi Rachel,

I think this poem is as good as the poem that won you PotW a couple of weeks ago..

Suki

elPintor

Mon 15th May 2017 23:18

Much appreciated, Stu and Colin...

Well, Colin, I wrestled a bit with the tense and verbiage there. But, in the end, I really feel that it works because it makes the "light" part of the predicate versus making it the object of an action by saying "was shown" or "is shown". Grammatically, I'm not sure if the phrasing is correct, but I decided that I would take a chance on being wrong and chalk it up to personal liberty. Thanks for mentioning it, though--I appreciate the opportunity to participate in a little dialogue.

Take care, yous two,

Rachel

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 15th May 2017 10:10

quality as always Rachel but I'm stumbling on the third line. Should it read 'that's shown' or 'that shows' or am I reading it wrong? I reckon, like me, if it is wrong you'd like to see it put right ?
All the best to you.
Col

Profile image

Stu Buck

Sun 14th May 2017 16:30

great last line elP, really beautiful to read.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message