You are the silence between breaths, that moment that encompasses every potential

Where I’m not only questioning and I’m not just knowing, I'm filling every space in between.

You are the strings that tie my heart down, keeping it from flying away with every little joy.

Fuck you bring me such joy!

Joyous flights of ecstasy in your hugs.

And when I hear you say you need me as much as I need you, that moment is so golden that the gay pride parade stops and stares at its glittery shine.

We shine so luminescent that the blindness is maddening.

 

You drive me mad.

In all the horrid ways.

In the ways that involve forsaking everything I hold dear and tossing it into a dumpster fire because I don’t think my feels can take the intensity.

but your words are so smooth and your eyes so deep

that when I listen to you speak I want to climb inside them, let them flow over me and swim in their depths

 

God how I love how you love lists

but those damn logical lists have me making lists of things to throw at you

Your failure to fail is illogically logical in like the most Spockiest of Spock ways.

I could throw a big screen tv at your sickening rightness.

I love your silly compulsive helio-ophthalmic outbursts of sneezing

 

I love how you examine things in so much detail you make both our heads spin

And second guess until we come back to where we were in the first place

I love slowing my pace to match yours after a long day of walking, you think I do it for you, but I need it to, the slowing that is.

Taking time to breathe, to see, to be.

I love the way you look at me like I am a melting ice cream cone and if you don’t lick me that moment I’ll disappear onto the sidewalk into a sticky puddle of worthless gunk

And you do

Keep me from disappearing that is

 

And I hate hate that you’re miles and miles and miles away, but that you really aren't, because when I need you, you know without knowing and there you are, telling me it will be ok,

We will be ok

And we will

Because in those moments we are golden