I don't feel worthy of this earth.
It's a bright and happy day today. 
I feel a fraud amongst it all.
As kids and parents play. 
Sandcastles, colourful buckets and plastic spades, 
Happy laughter fills the air. 
Desperate darkness clouds it. 
There is no point, no joy, no end,
I am hollow and so void. 
I smile and wave and look the part,
Each photo frames the day. 
Behind the mask the camera takes,
My sadness eats away. 
I hunt in search of Shangri-la. 
A place I can enjoy. 
A time to forget and start again, 
A place to fix broken memories. 
But in my heart there's just a stone. 
A weight of sadness past. 
I want it gone but here it stays,
Even on the most sunny days.