There are elephants on the roof,

I know that sounds absurd

But there’s elephants on the roof,

I know because I heard.

 

I am told it’s just a few pigeons

That think our caravan’s Heathrow

But waking at five in the morning,

I don’t believe this can be so.

 

My ears can hear quite enough proof,

There are elephants on the roof.

 

Pigeons are just much too small,

They don’t have the wherewithal

To make such a fecking din

And frighten me out my skin.

 

So this is my conclusion

And I know it sounds absurd,

But there’s elephants on the roof,

I know because I heard.

 

Believe me, this is not a spoof,

There are elephants on the roof!