Besides, why the bloody hell do they feel the need to look so miserable? Do they imagine if they looked more happy-go-lucky that I'd be less likely to part with my 2p? Well they're regally wrong.

Now don't misunderstand me. I never pass a busker or street entertainer without chucking them a few bob. They enrich my day. But I'll be buggered if I'm going to subsidise some scuzzie's fags or Kennomeat for their dog.

"Ha," I hear you say, "But not everyone can play a guitar or walk on stilts".

"Ha," I reply "Everyone could sing or recite a poem or tell a story or..."

I've been to Prague and I am altogether more impressed by the mendicants there. They touch their forehead on the floor as you pass by, a la Mo.

I like that.