Hi folks,

A few months ago, I submitted a poem up here called 'Room Available in Bow'.  The responses the piece generated seemed to indicate the idea needed a bit of a rethink.  So, here it is, a few months later, a new poem on the same subject, called 'Unholy Occupation'.  Enjoy!

Unholy Occupation

I'd like to tell a story and vent out my frustration

For my flat's been taken over, an unholy occupation

When my current flatmate told me, and with a charming grin

He'd take the room I'd advertised, I smiled and let him in

He told me that a shared co-habitation was his aim

But since the day that he moved in, things haven't been the same

This jovial and ginger, kind and funny rubber-faced man

Has turned my kitchen paradise into a cluttered wasteland

He leaves his rubbish everywhere and I am truly pissed

When he dumps his dirty dishes in the sink and lets them list

His choice of songs to listen to, it gristles and annoys,

For pounding heavy metal is not music, it's a noise

Whenever I bring this up with him, I could almost cry

He'll silence my objections with a smooth, smart-arsed reply

I cannot argue with him, for the man has massive bulk

Like a big, ginger version of the Incredible Hulk

His frame and wit attract the girls that he brings home to thrill him

From the noises that he's making, it sounds like they're trying to kill him

I sit in my room and whack myself, not liking this one bit

Like a crying baby in a filthy nappy, stewing in my own shit

But none of that really matters, for now he's been and gone

And maybe now he's left the flat, perhaps we can get on.