Goth Fall
What a cool gothic chick I hooked up with online.

We shared the same interests.

A pretty, kind, intelligent, funny woman.

I thought this is it.

I've met my soulmate.

No more loneliness or being misunderstood by the wrong gals.

What a catch.

Something stopped us being together.

She sensed it.

Bad news got in the way of us.

Half a bottle of vodka engulfed my oblivion.

It's cancer.

I don't know how bad.

I'm gutted.

She sent me this message:



Heya nick lovely lad...im so sorry for not txtin u....ive had bad news n i need to deal wiv it.i wud love to have met you but now i fear we cannot...u see it wouldn't b fair on u. Ur txts and books and pics av been lovely to get each day and have helped(are helping)but i have dark times ahead...i knew i was being kept from you for a reason. Ur far too lovely for me crash into ur life only to leave you brokenhearted one day. I am sad beyond words not for my battle ahead but for my chance of meeting you being ruined in the cruelest way...you are an amazing man and an amazing spirit... Im sorry for toutching your life and being so unavailable...that was never fair of me and not my intention...bless you gorgeous man,you will find good love,its in ur future.love Katie xxxxx



I was on a real downer.

I deleted her number, my awfully capable defensive mechanisms kicking in.

Later she emailed me, in response to my flurry of skyfall emails.

Why didn’t I reply to her text about my gig?

I’ve no recollection of getting that text.

She would have gone.

Imagine her being there, after I was outa my fucking face on vodka.

Due to her.

My wounds healed.

But no.

We’re apart.

And darkness engulfs me again.

Welcome back old friend...