I'm sorry

sorry that I can't be better

sorry that I can't be exactly what you want

sorry I'm not perfect

sorry I meltdown at loud noises

sorry that I cry because I don't know what else to do

sorry that I can't please you like you want without seeing him in my head and feeling the panic again

sorry that I get angry at you for pushing me outside my comfort zone

sorry that my comfort zone is pjs and a disney film

sorry that I can't erase those memories and be the me that I was years ago

sorry that I hide inside your jumpers and duvets

sorry that I protect myself 

sorry that I still struggle

sorry that it affects us

sorry that it affects you 

most of all I'm sorry it still affects me, i'm sorry I feel guilty for surviving