Deeps Ocean.

 

The feelings you erupted in me were too immense for me to handle,

the pushing,the pulling

being torn

left and right

up and down.

ANY direction you ordered,

I listened and bowed in shame like the fucking bitch you told me i was.

I fucked you the way you wanted me too, like the whore you called me everytime i didnt answer my phone.

I ran to you as soon as you told me to come, like the abused pitbull i was, who was returning to her master.

You owned me, and i let you.

I hated you, but i loved you.

You had nothing, but i saw you as everything.

I tried to change 

falling asleep quickly,

less awake for you to whisper sweet lies in my little ears.

I whipped my own back, and starved myself of truth so i could digest them with a smile on my face.

 

But i grew weary dear demon,

 

I needed some type of satisfaction, for you left me parched. 

i wasnt healthy, and i wasnt happy.

so i went looking for all the things you kept from me, and werent capable of giving me.

 

I became cold hearted,  

just like you.

an exact replica.

 

Listening to men who told me the same things you did,

Letting them touch my body with cold dirty fingers, dripping shame from other helpless girls.

Running to their every call to satsify their needs instead of my own, 

looking for the satisfasticiton that you were incapable of giving me,

 

but it was okay.. because at least i was able to search for it. 

At least i had the dream of it being real?

at least i had a vision of hope.

 

But what i didnt know was that you were looking for the same thing i was,

what i was incapable of giving you.

 

i became you.

you were speaking through me,

 

Because you swallowed me whole,

as i was

Deep in your ocean.