I love you.

I have since the day I met you and I will love you deep in my wretched soul until the day comes when I take my last breath.

That breath, even then when it is my last precious ration of air, I will breathe it for you. I always breathe for you. That's what you taught me you see. By refusing to open your eyes to what could've been and what could always be you made me breathe for both of us. I loved for both of us.

Don't mistake me, I know well and clear that you did love me really. It was in the way you pushed my hair away from my face and let your hand linger on my cheek a little too long, or the way you would buy my favourite meal and pass it off as mere coincidence. It was there in the way you held me at night as though your life depended on it. The way you moved together with me in the dark and made the universe explode in front of my eyes, and yet come morning you would give me that same, knowing, heartbreaking smile that told me we would go on as normal as if nothing ever happened. 

No, you never did breathe freely. Instead you showed me.​ You opened me to a world of opportunity even though you knew you couldn't come with me. You had to stay behind and that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do; to leave you there in the cold. Even when you told me that you'd only hold me back. That I'd find somebody else. It broke my soul to know you, to love you and to leave you. Because that is the one thing, you wise and wonderful human being, that you never understood. You never understood that I was reserved for you. Everything that I am and will be is yours. It is not conditional, for I do not expect anything in return, only for you to know that the moment I laid eyes on you my soul awoke and it has been alive ever since. Excited. Electric.

Maybe one day, not in this life and maybe not even in the next, the stars will align for us and we will finally have our day in the sun. 

Until then, however many centuries that may be, I am yours. I love you. Always.