At first I was angry the only thing running through my mind was how did I not see this coming how did I not notice I was being played like a puppet and you were  the puppet master .                             While everyone sat back and watch the show this was my My life , it was just an act in a scene for you I guess you were the major star and I was the extra, and your assistant. running around trying to make sure everything happens in your favor with not even gettin a thank you in return that still  didnt matter                                           I put my pride to the side and stuck by your side didn’t know I was being fired or getting replaced until the last scene with no hesitation or explanation you cut me like budget cut on expense that just wasn’t needed no more which cause me to spiral in depression not knowing my worth  I compared myself to a bill or tab that you put on hold or might even let get sent to collections, no longer a priority or most likely never was one.                                   I would never know your acting skills were at an all time high . Or maybe I got so wrapped in the award I thought I was receiving for loving you so unconditionally that I got numb to the pain that you were causing and blind to hate you were demonstrating .                                           I heard there is no pain like missing someone that's never coming back but I beg to differ bc I miss you so much that it's hard for me to get out of bed sometimes I just lay there and wanna stay in my dreams just to see you longer It's days I have No appetite and thinks Substance abuse has become my norm now .             if that's not Mourning then I don’t know what is you might be here physically but to you I'm dead .