(to the tune of Que sera sera)

When I was  only 12 years old,
I shaved my armpits
bare as can be.
Will I be sexy?
Will I be fit?

Here's what they said to me:

'Oh the itch the itch!

Whatever possessed you, bitch,

to bulk-buy a load of Bics.

Oh the itch the itch'

 

When I grew up I carried on
hacking my arm pits
week after week.
Did it get better?
Did it hurt less?
Here's what they said to me:

'Oh pit hair pit hair,

we wish you were thick as fur.

We wish you had curly hair.

Oh pit hair pit hair'

 

Now I am grown and blades have gone,

so has my pit rash

and that mad itch.

Now I am furry.

Now I am sleek.

Here's how it makes me feel:

 

Oh pit hair pit hair,

you make people stop and stare,

you're sexy cos you don't care.

Oh pit hair pit hair.