it is a sphere

after Newfound Planets

 

i have discovered a planet

a peach bruise cloud scoots sweet along the sky

now visualise the starshine spatter like pastels

and a drop that drips

then drops again

and ‘piffs’ in the kiln baked apricot dust

sending up a whisper of dirt.

we have discovered a planet

it is a sphere of awful seas and glaciers that move…

…at their own pace. perhaps we will name it heartbeat

and if anything here has one, we will be amazed

 

 

 

🌷(7)

◄ the fawn

crown shyness ►

Comments

Frances Macaulay Forde

Tue 24th Apr 2018 12:26

Perhaps a space between is all that's needed, Graham?

A new stanza often denotes a different standpoint, n'est pa?

I enjoyed your words, Stu.

elPintor

Fri 20th Apr 2018 23:11

I quite like the switch up, Stu, as it is suggestive of differing possibilities and perspectives of the same. And, if I could like a comment, I would send out one for "i am not who i write for".

Rachel

Profile image

Stu Buck

Fri 20th Apr 2018 19:12

thanks graham

believe it or not, they are my favourite three lies!

however, one thing i have realised in the last four years is that i am not who i write for. if that makes sense.

so yes, i will have a gander and see what i can do.

thanks for the usual good will

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Fri 20th Apr 2018 12:24

I don't understand the change from I to we in line 8?

I love it until that point, would you consider reviewing the last three lines, ideally make it a little longer too

As usual quality work form you Stu!

Profile image

Stu Buck

Fri 20th Apr 2018 10:14

cheers guys!

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 19th Apr 2018 19:58

excellent interpretation and very ponderable if that's a word.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Thu 19th Apr 2018 12:43

Cor, some pretty seductive sonics and imagery in this Stu - peach bruise, starshine spatter, the piffs line. mmmMMMM.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses only functional cookies that are essential to the operation of the site. We do not use cookies related to advertising or tracking. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message